We are born a blank canvas. People point to positive things and name them. Ball, tree, house. The things they point at are forms. The names they give them are labels. We develop a set of experienced labels and forms. This set of data is specific to us and different from everyone elses. We can call this our “self”. Who defines this information? At first it comes mostly from our parents, siblings and people we see on TV, but as time goes on this expands to include care providers, teachers, classmates and friends.
Soon our ‘personal self’ forms and everyone calls it “me.” This personal self becomes our identity. You know it through your name, SS#, etc. Our identity as a self was set from the moment we were born. This is all very obvious and simple. It is supposed to be. You aren’t going to need any unusual training or education to grasp the simple ideas presented here.
Back to our personal self… as long as the things we become aware of, or come to know and do, are POSITIVE then who we are is positive. Our sense of identity takes on one that is good, worthwhile, valuable, safe and reliable. Basically this all amounts to a good self-esteem.
The Old Way:
But, before long some of the things we become aware of, or know about, or do – are NEGATIVE and those things make our ‘Identity as our personal self’ seem bad, wrong, less than others and deficient. From there we set out to collect as many POSITIVES as we can and avoid as many NEGATIVES as we can, in order to feel ok with who we are. Perhaps we are compelled to do this out of self-preservation. See, our identity is centered as our personal self, so we need to feel good about our self in order to be ok with who we are.
But as we all come to know, any positive also has a negative to it. Nothing is absolute. We can’t ever find the perfect friend, perfect clothes, perfect words… to fit into each situation… and so we come to know that everything that looks like a POSITIVE could at times be a NEGATIVE and is capable of letting us down. Left with no guarantee of what is POSITIVE we begin to sense insecurity and anxiety. Our world becomes a hostile place. We are unsure when the opponent will arise. This fear and insecurity causes us to be on guard, trying harder and harder to exert power over the world around us.
The worst thing about it is there seems to be no place to go to find permanent relief from this. Our identity is centered as our self and our self is made of things that could be a positive or a negative, so our identity as a self is insecure and there is no escape.
Many people find ways to cope with this. Although most solutions are temporary, they accept that as the best they can hope for in a world where EVERYTHING is both Positive AND Negative. Some escape through their work, others through substances, others through healthy activities. But deep down they know there is no real escape from themselves. They change so many things, hoping to hit on that right combination. They may spend their whole lives focused on this. They inadvertently spend their years trying to be a better self. It is an non-achievable goal.
When it is at its worst we see destructive behavioral issues such as addiction and alcoholism. We see destructive emotional issues such as depression, anxiety, reaction and hopelessness.
A New Way:
But what if there were a way to change all this, just by changing one thing? What if that one thing was something you already had and were using every day, all through the day but was just something you never thought of? What if, once you understood a few simple concepts and practices and gave them a 10 day tryout and after that you were up and running for good?
What if there were a way to save your identity from the constant insecurities of your changing personal self and in doing so the thoughts, emotions and circumstances which were plaguing you were suddenly less powerful? What if after a short time they actually became assets?
Identity Re-positioning™ is a simple way of looking at things that will allow you to change your response position. By doing this you will be able to recognize a position beyond your limited, changing self. This position will provide a safe haven from the ups and downs of your personal life.